Well actually Tuesday was date night. We went to BJ's and had a roy rogers and a mini pizza each during happy hour. For those of you who haven't gone there with us during happy hour, happy hour = cheap food.
Can I just say I had a fantastic time? I know you'd probably expect that I should, given the company, but sometimes date nights can seemed so forced. I sit there feeling a bit like, "ok, what are we going to talk about? i can't talk about the kids soooooo.... that leaves, oh right, nothing." I often feel dull and uninspiring on date nights.
But this was different, and I want to say it was because we were both making an effort, only it seemed so effortless, like back when we really were dating, before getting married and it getting all weird ;) We laughed, and joked, and enjoyed each other.
One of the things (among many things) that we talked about was the way we ended up together in the first place... given the circumstances in each other's lives, how remarkable it was how it all transpired. How divine really. And I've been thinking about something he said, about how he felt the day we "broke up" - the day I realized he liked me like that. How could I ever have doubted his intentions? And yet I was so oblivious.
The question struck me last night as he crawled into bed and came and wrapped his cold feet around me to get warm (something which I love by the way) if I'm still oblivious. Am I still so distracted by the children, the house, what I love, what I don't, how hard my day was, who I talked to, my struggles, my hopes, my failures, that I'm still oblivious to how much he loves me? That in the midst of my life, he likes me like that.
There was a hug offered to me last night, the value of which I underestimated. There was a listening ear recently that I abused. There's been time craved that I've been too dismissive of.
Somehow I think that even after 6 years, I'm still as dense as I was.
I want to change that.
3 comments:
Please don't read this as preachy - it comes purely from a place of self-reflection that I often visit and to which your touching, beautiful blog entry brought me again. Anyway - I often think the same thing of God. Am I so distracted (by the laundry, the work, the church, my opinions, my cramps, my good days, my expectations of myself, and so on) that I become oblivious to the intimacy He offers? Scott and I have discussed at length - If we can't truly love and enjoy our spouse, who is so tangible, how can we love and enjoy our God who is unseen and sometimes feels (just "feels" not "is") far away. And if we don't deeply love our God, how can we ever think to reach the potential for depth and love with our spouse.
hooray for you
hooray for Ryan
hooray for you and Ryan together
hooray for a glorious date night
Beautiful picture. What an honest entry of what so many of us are thinking at so many different times...I am happy for you that you thought it the way that you did.
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